on thursday night, i went to acs rehearsals feeling like a heap of dung. it was an awful rehearsal. everything seemed too loud, my ears were ringing, the lights were too bright at pakiramdam ko parang binugbog ako. o kaya parang masusuka ako sa pagod. during downtime at rehearsals, i wondered why i was feeling that way. i recalled my last few posts on this blog -- work, work and more work. a lot of angst.
it was then that i realized i was not so much physically as emotionally drained; and that the latter can take a much bigger toll than i imagined it could. i've spent longer hours at the office for other projects. it's just that i've invested more of myself in this project than any others -- it's been more of a struggle.
and so when we traipsed to dada's house later that evening for her post-rehearsals birthday dinner, i sat at the dinner table like a lump, barely able to finish the famous de pano spaghetti. i just sat there and let their laughter wash over me, their company strengthen me, until i found myself laughing along with them over hilarious tour stories -- some that we were hearing for the first time in five, six years; others that have been retold at dozens of late-night dinners, never failing to elicit gales of laughter from the same group of people.
a couple of minutes before we left dada's house, i saw peter with a beer and decided it would be a perfect way to cap a long day. i sought out the cooler in dada's garage and fished out a frosty bottle of san mig light, sighing with relief as i popped off the cap and took a long swig. this is exactly what i needed, i thought to myself as i curled up on the couch with my bottle, the laughter of my friends resounding all around me. but after a few deep swigs, i knew that it wasn't just the beer that i so badly needed, and got, that night.
it was laughter. it was the joy of creating, and sharing, and reliving.
it was the unconditional, honest appreciation of friends.
it was the security and constancy of these people who i felt i've known forever and can't imagine life without -- an intangible embrace, that is as warm and real and palpable as a physical hug.
it was being with people who know precisely who deserves all the glory, all the time.
it was remembering that i have a place and purpose outside of, more valuable than, and i daresay more meaningful than what i do at work.
haay, senti. friends are wonderful, aren't they?
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